he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
