she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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