Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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