your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
