i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
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