the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
