Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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