On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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