College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
