cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
