I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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