U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
