just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
