in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
