So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
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Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
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Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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