It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
