if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
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No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
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WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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