So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
