The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
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well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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