We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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