why didn't you poke me back
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
