I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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