we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
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they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
So. Much. Porn.
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