And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
