"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
