Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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