my mouth tastes like poor choices
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize