It's like a parade of train wrecks.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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