I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just pee around me
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
