I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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