Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
