Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Mom said you looked used
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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