i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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