I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize