trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
