She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
