gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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