Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
