i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
