Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just puked most of my soul out..
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize