mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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