Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She's just so happy...and so naked.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
