All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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