Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
