I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
