I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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