I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
