I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
