to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
