I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I have already put on my inside pants.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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