don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
