is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Two words: nipple clamps
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