Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
