apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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