We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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