ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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