Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I puked a lego.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
