So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Randomize
