in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
