he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
