Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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