..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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